#AngelsLanding #ZionNationalPark #Utah
#pinkhair #noshame #mowhawk
#arthritis #steriods #chronicdisease #chronicpain #AnkylosingSpondylitis
I wish for a lot of things but tonight I wish I could get excited again about swimming. I don’t understand why I don’t enjoy it anymore. I used to be a complete water babe, swimming for a club until I was about 16, then only really stopped my 2-3 miles a week when I had my eldest child. It’s supposed to be really good for me, both mentally & physically so why does it make me grumpy & emotional? Physically I feel like I’ve done 20 rounds in a boxing ring not 20 lengths of the pool. If it wasn’t for the fact I would just be sitting for 3 hours watching the boys swim for their club & ‘pinning’ stuff I probably wouldn’t have got back in the water. The only thing that makes me feel good about it is that I can get into the ‘fast lane’ & pass the same person twice in the time it takes them to do one length!
I remember when I used to swim at the Aquatic centre when we first moved to Canada. I was pretty fit then, but, I would often have to move from the fast lane into the medium lane to use my kick board. I think if I swam there now I would just about survive in the slow lane. It is a 50 metre pool, which I used to love because you didn’t have to tumble turn as much. Maybe it was psychological, but I always thought I swam further because the lengths didn’t seem much longer really. Not sure how I’d manage 20 lengths of a 50m pool now.
Like I say, it can only be good for me, & maybe I’m expecting too much of myself. In my head my body can still do everything it did before, but in reality it needs to find a new level for the way it is now. It makes me feel old & crippled, even though I’m not really. It’s good that the boys club night makes me do it, & I think it sets a good example to them for the future.
I’ll keep going…
Life got in the way of my writing – again! I know I have missed the odd day here & there this year, especially when I was on vacation, but this break was voluntary. I know I am doing too much, my body is telling me so, but have I listened to it? Not a chance! I am still in the process of giving my elder son’s bedroom a makeover. As you can see by the photo I was inappropriately dressed to go to school yesterday, but I promised the kids I would dress up to do their haunted house craft that had required me to cut out hundreds of pieces of cardstock for over 40 grade 2 students & had me locked in my craft room most nights for 2 weeks. It was all worth it though as it appears to have been raging success so a big high five to me!). We have just started renovating our basement, lifting all the carpets upstairs & restoring the floors upstairs. Among all of this I am continuing to keep house & home while running the kids around, walking the dog, making sure we don’t have to resort to pet food for dinner, & begin getting organized for the crazy month of December (both boys birthday’s are during the holiday festivities, as well as our wedding anniversary & my father-in-laws birthday!).
So something had to give, & sitting down every evening for an hour & boring you with my life events was the least important task at the time. They say you should make time to write, but they don’t share the ingredients or the recipe to actually make more time. I’m still suffering with my neck, maybe not as much, & I’m certainly not taking as many painkillers, but enough to be aware of it most of the time. However, I have managed to squeeze in some fun. A girlfriend & I went for some retail therapy at the huge new outlet mall & had a great day trying on dresses for the up & coming winter gala for school. We were both successful in purchasing a knockout frock & can’t wait to enjoy letting our hair down on the dance floor.
Right now I just need to not be so impatient to get stuff done. I really need to stop & listen to my body when it’s protesting at being worked to hard. The thing is, my son is currently camping out in the spare room on a double bed with a tempur-pedic mattress, a mountain view (when it stops raining), & an en-suite bathroom. If I leave him in there too long I might never get him to leave!
I wish it would stop hurting. It’s been bugging me for a while now, weeks in fact. I need it to stop!!