Category Archives: Insomnia

Treatment Thursday!

06.30 – Day 2 of the virus & broken sleep. I go to wake elder child because he is at running club for 7am. I don’t normally take him, in fact I’ve never taken him – so this routine is alien to me. I go back to get dressed etc.

06.40 – I check in on elder child & the monkey had turned over & fallen asleep again. He didn’t remember I’d already woken him once.

06.45 – He emerges shirtless, in plain black shorts – because he’s lost his spare logoed pair – he can’t find his gym shirt, & I swear I washed both shirts at the weekend. Obviously one set of gym kit has to stay at school, but the other should be at home. He has breakfast while I look in his room & in the laundry room. Definitely no shirt! I dig out his old one from last year – school changed the style this year for an updated dry-flow one just to make sure we spend even more money educating our children.

06.55 – After throwing himself together & barely brushing his teeth, we leave.

07.02 – We pull up outside school, he rolls out of the car. I wish him a good day & a fun field trip to the Maritime museum, & off he goes. Field trips require what they call No.1 uniform (shirt & tie with blazer & all the trimmings!).

07.25 – Back at the sanatorium sick people are still sleeping – at least they were until I let the dog out & she started barking at invisible intruders.

07.40 – Hubby & younger child appear looking not much better really. Tylenol & Advil for breakfast then!

08.10 – I am being a grumpy cow because I’m nervous & scared about the afternoon trip to the hospital. I haven’t showered, or done my hair or makeup & I’m wearing dog walking clothes because they were the nearest thing I could find in the dark. I look an absolute treat when I happen to see elder child’s blazer hanging on his peg. I think I actually swore out loud – younger child was upstairs & hubby was in the shower so nobody heard.

08.20 – I text elder child’s teacher to see when they are leaving for their trip & do I have time to bring the blazer. I leave anyway, mad I was so disorganised.

08.40 – It takes me twice as long to get to school because I’m now in rush hour traffic. I rock up outside & throw my hazards on because I should be no more than a few minutes. I punch the code into the front door – nothing. I have the right numbers but maybe not in the right order, I try several combinations – nothing. I catch the lovely receptionist eye (she is always letting me in because I never remember the code!) & would you believe it wasn’t locked yet, that is why I didn’t hear it click – blonde moment!

0845 – I walk out of the elevator & his teacher is sat at her desk opposite me, she smiles & informs my son that a lovely lady has brought something for him. He gives me a big hug, the entire class are sat in their blazers but him so it was worth going back even if it was a pain. I take the elevator back down hoping I don’t’ run into hot teacher because I look like a homeless person.

08.50 – I escaped without embarrassment & head home AGAIN!

10.30 – After a serious discussion from hubby because I’m being snappy & miserable, I shower & sort myself out. I don’t really feel like putting makeup on or dressing in anything more than yoga pants & a sweatshirt. I feel nauseous as the clock ticks.

12.00 – After doing laundry, & a few other bits & bobs I feel like the time is dragging by. I don’t really want lunch but I had to eat something. Younger child is still not eating great, & hubby’s appetite is poor too. We all sit at the island pushing grapes around our plates.

13.15 – I take younger child next door for the afternoon with a backpack of activities & his iPad. My neighbor wished me luck & not to worry about the little guy, he will be fine gardening with her husband. We are really lucky to have such lovely neighbours.

13.50 – I check in at the ultrasound department & go straight in to get changed. I won’t let hubby leave, but they don’t normally allow people in. The nurse talks to the doctor & it’s all fine in the end – phew!

14.10 – The doctor doing the injection had been present at the radiology rounds where they discussed my case. He has done this procedure many many times, but usually after some sort of trauma which I have not had. He spoke with a soft Caribbean accent & had an excellent bedside manner. I was nervous, but felt more comfortable with the procedure once he explained his rational for doing it & what they actually saw on the MRI. He made sure I was comfortable after I chose to lay on my side, with hubby right there in front of me – I was squeezing his hand before anything happened.

The doctor told me when he was going to begin & proceeded to insert the needle & inject local anaesthetic under ultrasound guidance. He aimed right at the spot in which he could see the problem & I complained to be the most painful. It was a positive thing that these two things correlated. Then he injected…

OMFG!!

I can only describe it as intense pressure that causes sharp severe pain. It was just as horrible as I thought it was going to be (I’ve have other joint injections so I kinda knew what to expect). Looking back now it didn’t last long, but at the time it felt like forever. He was good enough to give the local a few minutes to work before he injected the steroid. It was all fine until he injected right on that spot again, brutal. I tried as best I could to relax & breathe normally when I wanted to scream & cry & swear & curse & then it was over and that was it.

14.30 – I climbed off the bed shaking, & for the first time in six months I bent the knee without pain. However, I have forgotten how to walk properly.

15.10 – We pick elder child up from school & bless him he had brought me a little pressie back from his field trip. He could have quite easily spent the money on himself, but no, he bought me a really nice wall hook for my craft room & he gave the rest of the money to a friend who didn’t have enough to buy something she wanted.

15.40 – At home I pop next door to pick up the little guy who is much better (so can totally go back to school tomorrow) & spend 10 minutes trying to extract myself from my neighbor who can talk about nothing for days, possibly even weeks.

20.00 – After a stressful busy day I soak in the bath – I have a very pink leg I need to scrub clean – & hubby brings me a little glass of Rose (I never use those little glasses, 2 mouthfuls & it’s gone!). He places it down on the sink top behind me; I have a little moan about the inadequate size of the contents. I am just about finished my chapter so I reach back to get my bookmark &…

I’m sure he thinks I did it on purpose to get rid of those small glasses!

High Temp Tuesday!

06.15 – Zombie!

Hubby is properly sick so I saw every hour on the clock & younger child was up in the night with a bad dream.

07.35 – Boot camp leaves the house on time!

07.50 – The boys go one way to their classrooms & I go the other in search of an orange dragon.

08.30 – Another productive morning of donations, the orange dragon was a big hit, then a meeting with the head honcho. We figure out how the kids will pick their prizes & how we will organize them on the day. I declare that during my time on the donation table no parent wants any of the toxic critters near their house EVER! So, if we make them balloon prizes nobody will buy a balloon (this is a separate stall to mine). I should have kept my mouth shut because the critters are now prizes on my stall so at least 3 parents in the school are now going to hate me forever!

09.15 – I check in with hubby to make sure he’s still alive & find out if he needs to see a doctor. He thinks not because he’s a stubborn doctor himself. He decides to wait a bit longer. I stay at school to box up the prizes.

11.00 – Home via the dollar store to pick up some supplies to bag up small prizes, & some coloured beads for the kids to pick out their prizes.

11.30 – I drag hubby off his deathbed to get some fresh air & walk the dog with me.

12.45 – Back at school sorting prizes – AGAIN!

14.45 – I meet with another mum who has volunteered to run the donation table because of course its hockey on a Tuesday.

15.10 – I scoop up younger child & teacher mum’s son. The drill is the same as last week – home, change into hockey gear, homework, eat, out again.

16.45 – Back at school to meet teacher mum & swap the kids over.

17.10 – Back home with elder child & his classmate (teacher mum’s elder child). While dinner is cooking I am punching holes in tickets & adding rubber bands so the kids can wear them around their wrists for when they get stamped at each station/activity. The deal is when they have a full card of 10 stamps they come to my prize table & pick out a prize.

17.45 – Call from teacher mum – younger child’s mouth guard is not in its case or his hockey stick bag so technically he shouldn’t play. She passes me over to the coach (who is a friend of ours) & I agree he can risk of playing without it.

18.15 – After dinner I continue with the tickets & rope hubby into helping – suddenly he’s dying again! The rain starts…

18.45 – It is bouncing down & hubby is glad he’s sick & not stood on the sideline.

19.15 – Teacher mum arrives with the two boys, both are shivering & soaked through, & she is not much drier.

19.45 – Younger child has had a warm bath & is wrapped up in his bed still shivering. Hubby checks his temperature & discovers he’s about to burst into flames – GREAT! I don’t have time this week for sick kids!!

20.15 – Wine!!

 

Tired & painful Thursday…

02.20 – Hubby’s pager goes off & they called the wrong person!

03.20 – Still awake…

04.20 – Pain in my knee & lower leg is nagging so much I consider getting up.

06.20 – Must have fallen asleep at some point because the radio wakes me up.

06.40 – Hubby brings me a bucket of tea as part of my resuscitation strategy. He takes elder child to running club.

07.35 – Younger child & I leave for school early because I have volunteering duties.

07.55 – Dog abandoned in the car – which is parked in the cool underground parking lot. I leave the sunroof open for her & she curls up for a nap, which I’m very jealous of. I pack younger child off to his classroom & greet elder child as he returns from his run – he wants to hug me but he’s very sticky and gross!I don’t want to discourage this sort of affection in public so I cautiously hug him.

08.00 – The head honcho of the parent support group & I set up our donation table. This year we are having our first family fun night & have asked people to donate good quality, gently used stuffies & unopened toys for our prize table, which I am in charge of. As grand prizes we already have a 5ft monkey, dinosaur and frog – & I am praying desperately that neither child of mine is fortunate to win one of these hideous creatures!

08.30 – We have had a great response & have sold a stack of tickets. I leave to take the dog to the park.

08.45 – The park is sunny & beautiful so for the first time in forever I am just in a sweater & no gloves. The walk is painful, and tiring for me, but it is something that not only needs to be done but I really enjoy doing it.

09.30 – Home to grab water bottle, send a couple of emails, get some chicken out of the freezer for dinner, then out for Pilates.

11.00 – 12.00 – I have the best instructor. She is sensitive to the fact I’m not in great emotional shape but somehow manages to motivate me. She is doing everything she can to avoid any more complications occurring because of my knackered knee, & so far so good.

12.30 – Home for lunch while reading the chapter I finished last night, I make some changes & send it to my beta readers. I then pack up 3 guitars, grab drinks & snacks for the boys, & go to my guitar lesson.

14.30 – Great guitar lesson, again my teacher somehow manages to keep me focused & I play a song I’ve been struggling with for a while.

15.05 – Drive to school

15.15 – I meet the boys at younger child’s locker (we do this every Thursday, older picks up younger from his classroom & meets me at the locker to save time) we grab his stuff, & then head back to the car to get back to their guitar lessons for 15.30. My elder child & I have the same teacher. Younger child has someone who appears to be from the same planet as him.

15.27 – I open the door & push them out so they can start their lesson while I find parking.

16.00 – I’ve had 20 minutes to look at my social media and play a game of patience!

16.20 – Home, feed animals, do homework & reading.

17.20 – I’m about to start dinner because hubby should be home soon but my next door neighbor wants to come & look at my new craft room. She doesn’t draw breath for over half an hour, so when hubby gets home at 6pm my ears are bleeding I haven’t started cooking yet.

18.30 – I moan & complain about the pain. Hubby puts wine in the fridge for me!

19.30 – I write a reply email to my doctor which I haven’t sent yet because I have a good old moan to him about my pain & I’m not sure if I should be laying it on with a trowel so thickly – I’ll ask hubby to vet it first.

20.00 – I need a soak in the bath & a large tub of ice cream to go with my wine.

Inpatient insomnia…

My knee kept me awake for 3 hours last night, throbbing like toothache so I was unable to find a comfortable position. I still have another week to wait before I see the surgeon & I just hope for the sake of those who have to live with me – or just pass me in the street! – that she will just go in there & have a look. I know that surgery is always the last thing any of us want, but this has been going on for 6 months now & I’m at breaking point with it. It’s getting worse again, swelling, protruding, & nagging away at me all the time.

Today was back to school after Spring break, I could see people looking at my leg to see if the brace was still there. I think many have given up asking, they see how much it’s worn me down. When they do ask I don’t have anything different to say. I hope in a week’s time I do…

Sat on by a hippo!!

Evil invisible critters that make my body ache more than ever. Last night I only managed one glass of wine before I had to head to bed. This is clearly not like me, rarely is a bottle of wine left half drunk. I didn’t sleep that well either, but then none of us do when we’re not in our own beds & all four of us are in the same room together. The boys were awake far too early, but there was no way they were putting lights on at 6.30am. When I finally managed to raise myself out of my pit, I felt like a hippo had sat on me in the night.

After packing everyone off to the slopes again, I showered in the hope it would loosen me up & make me feel more human. Nope! But I still strolled out with Tess. I was a bit mean and popped her coat on so I could let her off leash on the Valley trail & she wouldn’t venture too far. Needless to say she wasn’t happy. Normally I would need to wear layers & layers of Icebreaker, & use toe & hand warmers. I knew something wasn’t right when I had to take my gloves off in a chilly temperature of only 2 degrees. I had to unzip my jacket, & I was only wearing a thin long-sleeved t-shirt underneath. At one point I began to feel dizzy & had to sit on a log for a few minutes.

When we got back to the hotel, after walking for over an hour, I felt terrible. I was so hot & sweaty that my shirt was stuck to me, and sweat ran down my brow. I immediately jumped in a cool shower. With the balcony door wide open and sat in only my underwear, I finally cooled down. After more painkillers for my poor achy joints, I began to feel better, fuzzy, but better.

After being around sick people for the last 2 weeks, including my eldest, my compromised immune system finally couldn’t cope. It’s interesting how I don’t seem to get the nasty cold symptoms everyone else gets, my body just feels worse – a lot worse. I think I’d rather have the cold to be honest, there’s nothing worse than feeling like you’ve been trampled on. I wish there was some way of treating that, the painkillers help but they’re not miracle workers. Hopefully after my quiet day today – writing of course! – I’ll be over the worst of it, just in time to start dealing with increasing pain in my knee again!

From pain comes productivity…

I shoehorned myself out of bed this morning, having not slept well, partly because hubby was in work until 3am, & partly because of yesterday’s torture. So, the day didn’t get off to a good start, even after a hot shower to help ease the aches & pains, & Thursday’s are always busy. For the first time ever my body was not keen on having an hour of pilates, but my fantastic instructor managed to motivate both my mind & body so I at least got something positive out of it – & I did. Then it’s my guitar lesson, I have practiced & practiced the chords to Photograph, but I couldn’t get the palming muting rhythm right. However, my teacher had something else on the agenda…

After only 10 minutes into the lesson he had me playing the introduction to the song, which can also be played along side the palm muted chords. I was so excited that I could now just pick up my guitar & play something you might actually recognize. THEN we sorted out the rhythm. I think it’s time for a change of artist or band & a new song – as much as I love you Ed, sorry!

I’ve now had 3 doses of my super dooper painkillers with very little pain relief, I have now resorted to wine, & I can confirm that at some point in the evening there will be chocolate consumed. All things considered I’ve had a productive & positive day when I thought it was going to be brutal. I’ve made two Valentines cards (sadly I make a matching pair & give hubby one so that I get a decent card from him!), & made 3 cakes. I find that when I have things to distract me, & those things go according to plan, ‘it’ is just grumbling in the background, unable to beat & bring me down. Not today anyway.

Then of course it’s Friday tomorrow, the weekend always makes things feel better!

All hugs welcome…

Manipulation, IMS, & ultrasound, that’s what it took to sort out my SI pain, and now I feel like I’ve been run over by a train. I don’t know where to put myself, because it wasn’t just the SI that needed sorting out; my neck & lower back weren’t in great shape either. I was trying to see if I could go two weeks without physio, something I periodically try because I’m so sick of being beaten up every week. I hate having needles, and I resent paying to be tortured. Was it worth it? Of course not, what I went through today was the worst I’ve had to endure in sometime.

With only my dog for company (snoring next to me), because hubby’s at work, I’m not even sure I want to write. I know if I try it won’t be productive, I barely slept last night because I was so uncomfortable, so staring at a computer screen is not a good idea. I don’t even want wine – but I have had chocolate so I’m obviously not too out of sorts. I feel a bit spaced because of my painkillers, but that could also be tiredness too, they don’t always make me feel like this. I haven’t even picked up my guitar today, & I’ve been so good practicing everyday.

My only hope now is that I can get some sleep, & tomorrow will not be as bad as it can be after such a horrible session.

All virtual hugs welcome 🙂