I wish for a lot of things but tonight I wish I could get excited again about swimming. I don’t understand why I don’t enjoy it anymore. I used to be a complete water babe, swimming for a club until I was about 16, then only really stopped my 2-3 miles a week when I had my eldest child. It’s supposed to be really good for me, both mentally & physically so why does it make me grumpy & emotional? Physically I feel like I’ve done 20 rounds in a boxing ring not 20 lengths of the pool. If it wasn’t for the fact I would just be sitting for 3 hours watching the boys swim for their club & ‘pinning’ stuff I probably wouldn’t have got back in the water. The only thing that makes me feel good about it is that I can get into the ‘fast lane’ & pass the same person twice in the time it takes them to do one length!
I remember when I used to swim at the Aquatic centre when we first moved to Canada. I was pretty fit then, but, I would often have to move from the fast lane into the medium lane to use my kick board. I think if I swam there now I would just about survive in the slow lane. It is a 50 metre pool, which I used to love because you didn’t have to tumble turn as much. Maybe it was psychological, but I always thought I swam further because the lengths didn’t seem much longer really. Not sure how I’d manage 20 lengths of a 50m pool now.
Like I say, it can only be good for me, & maybe I’m expecting too much of myself. In my head my body can still do everything it did before, but in reality it needs to find a new level for the way it is now. It makes me feel old & crippled, even though I’m not really. It’s good that the boys club night makes me do it, & I think it sets a good example to them for the future.
I’ll keep going…