It was far too early to be stood on the side of the pool this morning; 7.40am & only 3 mouthfuls of coffee had been consumed. The last school swim meet of the season for child no.1 & school had requested parents drop the competitors at UBC aquatic centre – otherwise it would have been an even earlier start if they’d taken the school bus. At some point in the last couple if weeks the teacher who coaches the team asked for parent volunteers to help out with timing. I don’t remember actually saying I would be able to help, I think I mentioned that I might be able to. It would appear that might actually really means can!
So there I am hanging out with some of the other poor unfortunate mum’s, & it was a relief to find that one mum in particular was also there. When I say she’s a mouth on legs, I mean it in the nicest way possible. Although my ears are bleeding by the time we part, she is always very entertaining & can turn the most tedious of situations into quite the event. While stood talking (believe it of not!) we witnessed one of our rather substantial grade 3 students pull out a large tub of gummy worms & proceed to offer them around – FOR BREAKFAST. It was barely 8am for the love of god! As you can imagine neither of us could understand why a parent would allow their child to even bring such a thing. It was another one of those moments when my mouth worked faster than my brain. I turned to her & declared that having candy for breakfast was clearly why he was overweight, but at least he won’t sink. After almost inhaling coffee she agreed with me, I apologized for my mouth, & she announced that she thought it but her mouth hadn’t had as much caffeine as mine yet.
Fast forward to the first event that this child was competing in. I’m stood with my clipboard looking all official, & I’m partnered with another mum from our school. The gun starts the race & the child belly flops into the water. It was painful to watch, but at least the kid was trying. He’s going flat out, but stayed in the same spot. When he was almost at the end, myself the other mum cheered him on, she declares how awful & embarrassing it all is to have him on our team because he’s overweight. I reply by saying that it’s not surprising he is when he eats a pot of gummy worms for breakfast. What followed could have quite easily been even more embarrassing for me…
The mum was furious with her child for bringing the worms without asking, & who knew they were not supposed to be taking them to school or to any kind of school activity. She was actually quite glad I had shopped him. I had a sudden moment of wanting to jump in the water & drown myself but thankfully she was more furious with him than with me – PHEW!!