A sign of ageing…

For the record, I’m not one of these people who gets hung up about birthdays. However, there are certain things in life that do make me sit back and think, ‘Oh no, that is a sign I’m getting old’. With two very active boys, a fit husband and too many animals, I do A LOT of laundry. My current washer and dryer are over 8 years old, and have been misbehaving on and off since we moved house 3 years ago. I’ve been waiting for the day when I would enter the laundry room to find it completely flooded, or wet washing going round and round in the dryer and not actually drying. Well that day has finally come…

The smell of burning was apparent before I even opened the door to the basement. Yes, stupidly I opened the door; there could have been six-foot flames or anything waiting to greet me (though sadly not a firefighter!). The dryer was counting down and pretending to be doing its job, but unfortunately it was hotter on the outside than in! Why do large expensive household items decide to expire when you’ve just maxed out your plastic on a vacation? How do they know? Do they sit there in their lonely corner of the world thinking, ‘I’ll get her back for all those vomit-covered bed-sheets and soiled potty training underwear. I’m going to pack up now so she has to decide whether they eat this month or have clean clothes’!!

So needless to say, after an overwhelming Google search, it was off the store to replace both, being how the washing machine has also been leaking on and off for a while now. It is hard not to feel ripped off by these places; they know how badly you need their product, and they are going to make it sound like you are getting the deal of the century to secure your business. And of course they did! To be fair to the guy, he actually seemed quite genuine, dissuading me from shelling out another 500 bucks on drawers to raise the height of the appliances to save my ageing back. When it came to selling me sand in the desert, he gave a well-rehearsed speech that was quite impressive… power wash for all those hard-to-clean whites… steam to reduce creasing… a 12 hour cycle that washes and dries overnight for urgent gym kit requirements… a detergent drawer that self-regulates how much it uses (this feature I particularly liked)… basically he spoke my language when it came to selling me something with features that an experienced domestic engineer like myself requires to do her job properly. I was excited, very excited.

Then I caught myself. The purchase of significant household appliances has made me happy and very animated about the advances in the technology. This is clearly a sign that I have crossed a line in the ageing process. I am excited about a new washing machine, not about buying a new dress, or having my hair done, no… a #@*%ing washing machine… I clearly need to get out more!!

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