Signed, sent… & scary!

Well, I got what I deserved from my physio, but he knows that I am a disease rebel and it’s not worth lecturing me. So yes, yesterday I felt like I’d been hit by a train, but did it stop me sitting in front on the computer… did it heck! I justified doing some work because it meant that I was ‘resting’ – whatever that is. When you don’t remember what it is like to be pain free because you belong to the exclusive club of invisible diseases, there is very little life can throw at you to bring you down. It became a sad reality, yesterday, that I am to be officially retired from the UK healthcare system due to ill health. I am a pensioner at the age of 41 – isn’t that hilarious! Yes I have to laugh about it despite what it really means: I am facing an uncertain future.

But hey! A nice big fat lump sum means I can publish my book… book a family vacation… & buy a new bikini! I am a pensioner, I can still enjoy life and have some fun, because isn’t that what you do when you’re retired? Apparently, it is also the time that many do write a book, so I’m already one step ahead of the game.

Given all of this, today I signed the contract, confidently sent it, and took a big deep breath that escaped into a big grin. Then caught myself and thought ‘This is actually quite scary, I have no clue what I’m doing… ” But if your dreams don’t scare you, you’re not aiming high enough!

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