Anger and resentment can lead you down a dark hole. If you find yourself standing at the entrance to that hole you have a choice to make… do I allow the cause of these emotions to push me over the edge so I fall in, or do I use every part of my being to turn away? Sometimes you’ve fallen before you realize it, but because you’ve become aware of what’s happened you manage to cling on to the side and climb out. And, because you’ve previously been at the bottom of that hole on more than one occasion, you know how difficult it is to climb out.
Before I wrote down everything I thought, felt and experienced both physically and emotionally, I fell into that dark hole many times. Not only have I found a way of venting my frustrations, I have also found a way of putting them into a fictional situation so I can let someone else thrash them out. There is nothing more sobering than life experience; sadly I have had to deal with too many of them in recent years.
So, I’ve just climbed out of the hole but something is trying to push me back in. I’ve embraced the thoughts and feelings that this ‘thing’ is creating and put them down in black and white (or purple because that is the only pen I had at the time!!). I will not allow it to win, despite what it has taken this time. Every time I climb out, I crawl a little bit further away. It is not going to be my weakness; it is going to be my strength. It is going to send me in a new direction, because I write my own story.